On a longtemps définit la “nymphomanie” comme un trouble psychiatrique chez la femme.
Souvenez-vous du traité d’un certain docteur en médecine, M.D.T de Bienville, et de son ouvrage intitulé La nymphomanie ou le traité de la fureur utérine, paru en 1886…
Glaçant, quand on y repense.
Définit comme une pathologie violente, venant de l’utérus, et qui donna le concept “d’hystérie”, où en sommes-nous aujourd’hui, au regard de cette compréhension (misogyne ?) de l’époque, et de la description d’un symptôme que l’on nomme maintenant hypersexualité ?
Mia déconstruit pour vous le mythe autour de la nymphomanie.
Consultez une spécialiste de la santé sexuelle et du bien-être par téléphone, messagerie ou vidéo, 7 jours sur 7.Qu’est-ce que la “nymphomanie” ?
L’émergence du concept de “nymphomanie” est paradoxalement en lien avec le développement de la psychiatrie. On pouvait parler du « satyriasis » ou du « donjuanisme » chez l’homme et de « nymphomanie » chez la femme.
Pourquoi ce terme est-il dépassé ?
Définition : nymphomane
La nymphomane désignait une femme avec un désir sexuel exacerbé et pathologique. La notion de pathologie psychiatrique était particulièrement forte pour les femmes, contrairement aux termes plus « souples » désignant les hommes atteints des mêmes symptômes.
C’est pour cette raison que les médecins de l’époque reliaient par facilité, misogynie ou mécompréhension, le concept d’hystérie à la nymphomanie. Comme si ce désir sexuel exacerbé provenait de l’utérus…
D’un point de vue étymologique, la nymphomanie signifiait « la folle des petites lèvres » (nymphe et mania). Cette notion de folie était le propre de la “nymphomane”, et même aujourd’hui, ce terme reste dégradant et souvent perçu comme une insulte. À juste titre.
La sexualité des femmes a en effet longtemps été incomprise, dénigrée ; jusque dans les noms que l’on donna à son anatomie : vagin, utérus, clitoris… Tous ces termes ont des racines étymologiques douteuses.
Par exemple, vagin du latin vagina signifiait « gaine » ou « fourreau ».
Pire encore, “l’hystérie”, une maladie inventée pour les femmes, et puisant son origine de l’utérus, remontait jusque dans la cage thoracique, avant de provoquer ces fameuses « sautes d’humeurs »… Et les médecins reliaient ce concept d’hystérie à celui de la nymphomanie, forcément dans un esprit de domination.
Comment a évolué ce concept de nymphomanie depuis ?
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De la nymphomanie à l’hypersexualité et la sexualité addictive
C’est à la fin du XIXème siècle, que Ernst Kretschmer sépare la catégorie des « masturbateurs frénétiques » des délires de relations.
En 1887, le sexologue Krafft-Ebing, est le premier à détailler un chapitre de « l’hyperesthésie sexuelle » dans son ouvrage Psychopathia Sexualis. On commençait alors à se rapprocher de notre concept plus actuel d’hypersexualité.
À cette époque, la pathologie « d’hyperesthésie sexuelle » venait remplacer le concept d’« exaltation morbide de l’instinct sexuel ».
On considérait alors que l’individu éprouvait une grande difficulté à atteindre une satisfaction sexuelle. Et que par conséquent ce désir prenait toute la place chez lui.
Mais l’hyperesthésie sexuelle est distincte du “satyriasis” chez l’homme et de la “nymphomanie” chez la femme. En effet, on retrouve l’idée que l’instinct sexuel n’est pas apaisé dans l’hyperesthésie sexuelle. Alors qu’il est quand même satisfait à des périodes pour les deux autres.
Aujourd’hui, les manuels de médecine ne parlent plus (ou très peu) de la “nymphomanie” et du “satyriasis”. Ces termes ont tous été remplacés par l‘« hypersexualité », « sexualité compulsive » ou encore « désordre atypique des impulsions ».
La plupart du temps, les chercheurs parlent de « sexualité addictive ». Enfin, soulignons que l’hypersexualité est à différencier de l’addiction : l’hypersexualité peut résulter d’un choix, alors que qu’un comportement addicte est incontrôlé.
“Nymphomanie” ou sexualité addictive : syndrome ou symptôme ?
Toute la difficulté pour les psychiatres et les addictologues est de classer ce trouble sexuel. Et par extrapolation, la responsabilité de l’individu.
Car si la sexualité addictive était officiellement reconnue, un patient déclaré sexodépendant pourrait, dans une certaine limite, se justifier comme « non responsable » de ses comportements sexuels.
C’est ce qui se produit par exemple lors de divorces peoples quand un avocat « pathologise » la vie sexuelle de son client, dans le but de contester des sommes importantes réclamées par la conjointe trompée.
Et par ailleurs, la question de l’évaluation se pose pour estimer la souffrance liée à une dépendance comportementale. Doit-on juger le normal du pathologique sous le prisme de la quantité ? Ou alors doit-on s’intéresser aux sentiments du patient ?
Il semblerait que le clinicien doive définir la sexualité addictive en dehors d’une vision normative des « déviances sexuelles ». Sans quoi il serait compliqué de définir une sexualité « normale » !
Et dans la même idée, on devrait comprendre différentes formes de sexualités addictives et non uniquement « une » sexualité addictive.
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Sexualité addictive : place du partenaire, dépendance sexuelle, influence des relations
Dans cette sexualité souvent exprimée à seule fin d’assouvir des pulsions, le partenaire devient presque une sorte d’étranger – comme un produit ou une drogue absorbée. Et la tension n’est apaisée que pendant un court instant.
La sexualité est alors recherchée ou vécue comme une obsession compulsive. Le sexe peut même être envisagé comme une drogue et un moyen de « décharger le tensions ».
Parmi les critères de dépendance sexuelle, on retrouve :
- La recherche d’un shoot ;
- Une existence qui n’est pas possible en dehors du sexe ;
- L’augmentation de la fréquence des rapports pour se tranquilliser ;
- Une fuite du quotidien ;
- Une recherche de sensations fortes (forme de toxicomanie) ;
L’histoire de la “nymphomanie” et de la “frigidité hystérique”
Associée à l’hystérie féminine au XXème siècle, la “nymphomanie” a mis l’accent sur la problématique de la “frigidité” comme origine de cette quête insatiable de sexe.
Car en effet, on peut imaginer que rien ressentir lors d’un rapport sexuel peut conduire à multiplier les expériences sexuelles pour se « rassasier » ou obtenir l’orgasme.
Des études ont montré que l’obsession sexuelle omniprésente d’une personne addicte au sexe ne laissait que très peu de place à la satisfaction sexuelle.
La psychanalyse freudienne cherchera par ailleurs à démontrer que cumuler les hommes en série (des pères potentiels) serait une manifestation de la rivalité phallique. Par ailleurs, la “frigidité” pourrait aussi être le symptôme d’une forme de mépris de la sexualité.
Et cette frénésie pourrait dissimuler une souffrance affective, où la séduction a autant sa place que l’acte sexuel en lui-même. On retrouve aussi l’idée que “l’hystérique frigide” reste « froide » avec tous les hommes afin de rester « chaude » avec l’objet œdipien interdit – le père ou le frère.
Mais s’agissant du sex-addict, cette notion affective est au contraire absente, même si l’injonction inconsciente de l’énoncé « aime-moi » devient « baise moi » (pour l’hystérique et le sex-addict).
L’addiction au sexe est-elle une perversion ?
La perversion est souvent dotée du désir plus ou moins conscient de faire mal, alors que la sexualité addictive n’est pas forcément ancrée dans le domaine psychopathologique des perversions.
Pourtant, on relève aussi la problématique de la négation de l’autre et le fait de le considérer comme une chose.
S’agissant de la relation perverse, le plus souvent elle tire son origine des modalités de liens aux premières expériences affectives :
- Comportements séducteurs paradoxaux et imprévisibles ;
- Mélange entre l’excitation et la frustration ;
- Tendresse et rejet ;
- Séduction et condamnation ;
La personne diagnostiquée perverse va ensuite rester enfermée dans cette configuration affective spécifique. Et la reproduire dans sa relation de couple.
Alors que le sex-addict, lui, choisit des partenaires consentants.
L’instrumentalisation est dans les deux sens : les deux partenaires sont avertis et savent ce qu’ils font. Tandis que le pervers cherche à asseoir sa volonté et son emprise sur l’autre et créer un lien, que le sex-addict fuit avant toute chose.
Le sex-addict est donc autant passif qu’actif, dans une forme de relation d’esclavage à sa dépendance. Il évite le risque d’aimer, le risque du désir ou de perdre l’amour.
En conclusion : pourquoi ne faut-il plus parler de “nymphomanie” ?
Comme vous l’avez compris, le terme de « nymphomanie » renvoie à une étymologie dévalorisante pour la femme, plus encore dans son contexte historique, lorsqu’on associait “nymphomanie” et “hystérie”.
Mais il est important de savoir d’où viennent certains termes, et de comprendre leur histoire.
Par exemple, le traitement de la nymphomanie dans le XVIIIème siècle reposait sur l’ablation du clitoris… Les autres châtiments étaient aussi loin d’un traitement : internement ou bannissement.
Pour revenir à la notion de sexualité compulsive, il faut se souvenir que cet état est à l’origine d’une forme de souffrance. Et comme il est très difficile d’établir une norme en termes de désir, on ne comprend pas cette pathologie sous l’angle de la quantité.
C’est la notion de souffrance qui devra permettre un diagnostic.
Et le traitement de l’addiction au sexe reposera généralement sur des psychothérapies pour remonter à l’origine de ce trouble, des médicaments en cas de dépression ou anxiété, et parfois des exercices de relaxation ou d’hypnose.
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